Friday, April 10, 2009

We Have Moved




Tony Blair is such a ponce

Tony Blair, the war mongering ex-Prime Minister of the UK left power in 2007, converted to Catholicism and then went all religious on us. Employed now as the Middle East Quartet envoy (whatever that is), he now has time to re-think the results of the war he helped to start.

He said: "I do not pass a single day in which I do not reflect on this and think of the responsibility. I think these decisions are the most difficult you ever take, and you cannot and should not take them incidentally because you believe that you have some religious conviction that's superior to anyone else."

Hopefully, in the not too distant future Blair will have all the time he needs whilst he sits in prison as a convicted war criminal with his cell mate, Georgie W Bush sat next to him, having led their countries to war by presenting lies and deceit to their people about the Iraqi regime.

Sometimes I wish we had Islamic Sharia law

Okay, Islamic Sharia law is a bit mad sometimes but it does have its good points. Recently a Saudi man who was working in Iraq divorced his wife by SMS. Apparently he sent her the SMS with 'I divorce thee, I divorce thee, I divorce thee' on it. Now wouldn't that be great, it would have saved me four years of heartache and, I am sure save many thousands of people in the UK £millions a year in legal fees.

Lawyers may not be too happy about it, nor would these wayward wives (who would face a good stoning as well) but us blokes would be all for it.

Pet Shop or Rescue Shelter Boys?

Ever noticed how do-gooders seem to think that just because they think something is a good cause, then everyone else should think so. Well there is a group called People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) that no-one will have heard of, they are nutters that believe ALL animals should have equal rights to humans.

Well their latest mad idea is that 80s pop group The Pet Shop Boys, who have been touring again, should change their name to a more 'creature friendly name'. They suggested the band should re-name themselves, 'Rescue Shelter Boys'.

"Most dogs and cats sold in pet shops are sourced from profit-hungry breeders who may have bred them in cramped, filthy conditions.  For every bird who reaches a pet shop, three others have died during capture, confinement and transportation. Hamsters, mice and other rodents are often bred by the pet shops themselves, leading to inbreeding, genetic weaknesses, physical deformities and behavioral disorders. By agreeing to change your name to the Rescue Shelter Boys, you would help raise awareness about the cruelty involved in the pet trade and encourage your millions of fans to consider giving a home to an abandoned or unwanted animal from an animal shelter. So, what do you say?"

Yawn...........what a bunch of dorks. As I am sure you can imagine, PSB told them to jog on!

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Sack the beard

Apparently there is a show on the BBC called the Apprentice where someone I have never heard of called Sir Alan Sugar (got to admit that is a strange name) picks from a cast of various people which one will work for his firm. I am presuming his firm is quite good as lots of people seem to want to work for him.

Well there was a cock up yesterday when someone at the BBC inadvertently leaked online that a contestant called Majid Nagra (I had presumed that the show was for English people only, apparently not) had been sacked from the show but did so before it was aired officially on television. Apparently this ruined the show for the viewers.

What's it all about then, who really cares? Its television for Gods sack, its what the BBC wastes our annual TV Licence on. If this upsets people then I think they need to grow up. Why was he sacked? Well, even without watching the show I think by looking at the loser's photograph you will be able to guess. If by chance you cannot - the keywords are 'ridiculous' and 'beard'.

Great news for smokers - bad news for red meat eaters

It is not too often that smokers like me get good news but now we have it. People who eat the most red meat and the most processed meat have the highest overall risk of death from all causes, including heart disease and cancer, U.S. researchers reported on Monday.

Even when other factors were accounted for -- eating fresh fruits and vegetables, smoking, exercise, obesity -- the heaviest meat-eaters were more likely to die over the next 10 years than the people who ate the least amount of meat.

Due to media hype and pressure from nutter groups such as ASH, smoking is being classed as anti-social nowadays, it is heavily taxed in order to pay for supposed extra health care later in a smokers life, advertising is banned, you must be a certain age to buy tobacco products, you cannot smoke in public places and any product you buy has large public health warnings and even photographs of dying people on them.

My question is, when will red meat be treated the same? Age restrictions on buying or eating it, ban advertising such as McDonalds, stop people eating it in public places, put large health warnings on any red meat products and photographs of really fat, unhealthy people on the packaging. And of course, tax the red meat eaters like cigarette smokers are taxed.

When? Never thats when as it is not a vote winner and the wierdo vegetarian groups have no public support nor can they help win votes in elections.

Scientists say - ban cars

Exposure to traffic pollution could affect the development of babies in the womb, US researchers have warned. What this in effect means is that from the minute a woman finds out she is pregnant she needs to be whisked away to the countryside for 9 months in order to avoid traffic polution. There's not many dads that I know who would argue against this.

If you add to this the huge list of other things that are apparently bad for pregnant women: smoking, alcohol, hot tea, chocolate, certain fruit and vegetables, loud noises, altitude, confined spaces, etc etc etc, its not much fun being a pregnant woman is it? There again, they can look forward to 12 months off work after birth courtesy of my taxes so its not all a bad thing.